"Yes we're queers but my book says that's not a bad thing. It says that it's normal for some people to be attracted to someone of the same sex. It exp...ains the whole history of homosexuality and when I read it I felt really good about myself. I felt like I finally knew what I was." I said "I need to read that book." she said "When I was kissing Katie it felt so natural and good. I knew that I was in love with her but this little voice kept saying that it was wrong." "Have you ever kissed a. .. I, I, d-d-don’t know if I can wear these,” I replied in a voice barely above a whisper.“You can wear them,” he replied nonchalantly, “and you will.”He reached into the center of the dresses hanging on the rack and seemed to pick one at random and handed it to me.“This one is my favorite, and you’ll wear it tonight,” he said matter-of-factly, looking into my eyes.It wasn’t a threatening or even a cold stare that he gave me, but, it was the end of the discussion.He smiled at me again and then. If there was a smile, it was only in his eyes, and then only fleetingly. Surrounded by other diners, our conversation perforce avoided any reference to the reason for our meeting. The weather, the economy, the latest Sarkozy speculation saw us through.We had agreed to reciprocate Nils’ hospitality by inviting him to our apartment for afters; Monique, in any case, thought she would be more relaxed in our own bedroom. Besides, the video equipment was there.We split up for the journey. . There was also the age difference. I’m nineteen and he’s twenty-eight. I just never entertained any thoughts about him that weren’t strictly platonic. His hand slipped down to the back of my neck as he leaned his forehead against mine, taking in a deep breath, almost as if to steady himself. And then, it happened. His lips were pressed firmly to mine, moist and warm. My body went rigid in shock and confusion as his lips moved against mine. Slowly I warmed up and found my hands snaking up his.
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