”“That’s probably true. If I didn’t know your family so well, I might question the ethics of doing this. Do you have an idea of what character...stics you want?”Michelle smiled and tilted her head towards me, “Just like him.”“Which would give you good odds of the baby looking like the other kids in the house, albeit with your features, rather than Jessica’s, Kara’s, Elyse’s, or Jennifer’s.”“Exactly,” I said. “We understand about recessive genes, but we like the odds.”“So do I. OK. Let’s go. .. and I will regret that until the day that I die. He was a cuckold type at heart, but I had to push things too far for even him.“You are a different matter, of course. You are no cuck. You are no wimp. You’re no wittol. You’re ... you. I’ve never met a more ... self-willed, deliberate man in my life. One who could bide his time, who could calculate, could detach himself, and yet show his wrath, too, when needed. A man who could will himself to be warm or cold as he had to be, could be kind. No, he didn’t tie with me every time, but it happened more often than not; since Jake didn’t want to follow me around with a bowl he gave me the duty of cleaning up. If it was on the hard wood floor or the kitchen linoleum I would lick it up. If it was on a rug I had to slurp up what I could and clean the remainder with a sponge and a bucket. The most humiliating thing, though, was not the fucking of the dog. It was my willingness and lack of fight. Even when Jake was outside mowing the lawn,. At this time last year he could be with her everyday. If not in person, over Skype. If not over Skype, then in notes and recordings he made to know she was smiling because of him. If not in writing, then he could remember her smell and taste and hear her laugh in his head when he went to sleep at night. Those memories are starting to fade, it might make more sense to let them go but he knows he would rather hold on to them for as long as possible, maybe forever. Hell, some days it feels like it.
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