She lay the root on a flat rock and smashed it with another rock, making a gooey white mash out of the bulb. Scooping that up, and leaving the rest of...the plant behind, she brought it to him and smeared some of it on his shoulders. The rest she rubbed on herself. Holding out her hands, she stood him and began working the crushed root all over his chest. It gave off a pungent, but good odor.“Soap!” said Slim, amazed. He’d been on the prairie for years, and didn’t know about this plant. She. The only thing her scientist had not been able to tell her was when the changes to the time line would take effect, all of it was theory, the results from the probe had been almost useless besides letting them know that the first Golem probably had been disabled, she would wait until the second golem had started the base before sending the first group of scientist over the theory was that the timeline would change the instant the first group was through, they had to hurry, she supposed though. This was already posted up to chapter 14 in other sites so I am just porting the story over to the Chyoa format. I would like as much feedback as possible. Don't be afraid to lay hard on me what you think and how bad my writing is!I would add i think i improve a lot from about chapter 5 and beyond hope you can stay with me till there! Enjoy the story please!25/12 Edit: I went trough this chapter once again to improve my punctuation and some of my mistakes.Josh was sleeping nicely after having. 60) as they are under 18. And they head off to the changing rooms. The changing rooms are manic and noisey its the school holidays and its mixed with lots of changing cubicles. All full they wait and still Louise is quiet. "You ok?" Vicky asks"Im ok just give me a second or a minute or a few minutes just some time 2 minutes and I will be ok I dont know isnt it noisy in here?" Louise snaps back. Vicky hardly able to understand what her flustered friend is saying. A door for a group room opens up.
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