' That morning, for some unknown reason, I woke from my normal death-like sleepunusually alert and aware. Mostly I drifted through the endless days in...a sortof stupor, induced by the back-breaking drudgery and boredom of the routinethey imposed on me, in which days - perhaps even weeks - went by without anythingto make me note their dreary passage. It was bitterly cold in my pen, and I was lying on my side, curled up as bestI could to preserve my body-heat which had warmed the damp, filthy. I'm out on Saturday, Debs is with Danny, when this car pulls up."Hi jump in," called Kevin, "I've been looking for you." Oh why?" I asked, hopefully he wanted to use me again; we drove off."If you've got time, I've got a client who's interested in you," he said."Oh yes," I replied, my heart beating loudly in my chest."Yeah, he want a video of you, if you don't mind?" he said, his hand moved off the wheel and onto my Jean covered thigh."Sure love to," I reply, "are we going to do it now?" Yes,. “We never did get a chance to invite Rachel for dinner either,” she said, her eyebrow arched suggestively.John laughed along with her. Sparks was quiet however, and her attention seemed to be elsewhere.“Are you ok there Sparks?” John asked, curious as to what was keeping her so absorbed.“Yeah, sure John,” Sparks said, distractedly, staring up at the ceiling.“What are you looking at Sparks?” Alyssa asked inquisitively.“My new workshop is overhead isn’t it?” the petite redhead asked.John paused. Her lovers would phone, when I was home, and she would leave to meet them. I stayed, for the sake of the children. They needed one stable parent in the home. When she died, it was a relief. I never mourned the loss, like you mourned Michael. There was no need. I had mourned the loss of my marriage years before. Her death, was the finality I sought. Her death gave me freedom. Funny, when we first met, and married, we had a satisfying sexual relationship. When she started having the.
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