I felt empty inside. I stared at the ground drowning in thought. To her credit Jenna just let me sit for a while and kept me company. I was not in a g...od state of mind. I’m sure I babbled like an idiot. Let the darkness take me. I wasn’t deserving of another person’s attentions. She didn’t leave me though. She stayed right there with her arm draped around my shoulders. I could feel her warmth and it was soothing to the cold darkness. I thought perhaps I wasn’t going to be swallowed whole after. I offered to be in the movies with her but she pooh-poohed that idea. However she did let my hand do a cameo in a few movies. I remember the one where she took a bath....I shot the whole movie with no tripod. So this was like one of the first POV movies that everyone loves these days.I am in the bathroom when mom walks in. She gives me a big smile then runs a bath and gets undressed. No one can undress like mom. Slow and sensual. My hand makes its first appearance when she turns her back for. She visibly relaxed and I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “are you really sure you want to do this. You don’t have to if you don’t really want to. I will understand and I’m not sure I can do anything for you anyway.” I knew that last part was a lie, but I wanted to give her the opportunity to back out.“Bob, I need to know what making love with you would be like, maybe once we have, then I will be either better or worse depending on the outcome, but I have to at least try. Please don’t. 38 revolver she normally carried. That convinced me to switch her to a S&W .44-40 as soon as I could find one for her. In the meantime, she did switch to the Colt that Running Fox had been carrying.We really had to be alert once we started out west of Tucson. The Yaquis were active along here, and they had the reputation of being the meanest Indians that a White man could run up against. Yaquis had been attacking wagon trains long before the full scale war had started, and they were expected to.
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