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Although I enjoy helping people for the sake of it, I hate becoming intimate with them, for when they know of my eccentric, morally questionable hobbi...s, they pity me, perhaps detest me, for being a broken cog whose only act of defiance was one which hurt no one but disgusts everyone. If I get into a good engineering school, maybe I can find others who also teeter on this line and form a camaraderie. Maybe not. But in this town, I can only hang a facade. It works, but it makes me empty inside.. "Look, I can take these guys, I just had a shitty, crazy couple of hands that wiped me out. They got lucky, and so I just need something to get me back in the game with some cash so I can outplay them. The longer we play, the more advantage I have. You know that." I'd heard this speech a few times now, and had always admitted that you had to take the good with the bad. If I was willing to buy into the whole gambler's girl thing - sitting on his lap at the table, letting him buy me nice things,. Lynne saw me looking very bouncy at work and gave me the third degree to find out why. It was the third glass of wine that did it – You know I can’t hold my drink well. Well, you shouldn’t have gone in without a bra, said Lynne. I have never seen you without a bra - at work anyway – and acting all lively too. No wonder your tits were bouncing about. All the guys certainly noticed and some of the girls looked like they would like to join the guys getting into your pants too. I’ll have to give. I mean who make you happy? Isn't that what counts for these relationship things? I mean I wouldn't know or anything but-" No, no, you're right. I should... I should go for the guy that makes me happiest." At this point she had stopped crying and was barely sniffling but it seemed as if she were in deep thought, contemplating something. At that moment the bell rang."Oh shit! We're late to class! Come on!" She took my hand and we ran for our second period.Afterschool finally came, and I was.
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