These emotions make me want to break free — to leave this life in search of another for nothing I or anyone else does makes me feel truly happy and ...onflict free. To fill the gap I harbour in my soul seems pointless — neither family member nor any person on this earth can change the way I am. Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish. J: Promise you won't run out on me?T: I promise. The weight crushing my chest lifted and I took a few deep breaths. After a minute, I sat up and moved further back to lean against the headboard.T: Ok, you wanna talk, let's talk.J: I'm sorry that I left this morning without telling you and without leaving a note.I had some errands that I wanted to run before you woke up. I wanted it to be a special surprise for you.T: What errands were so important that you couldn't tell me where you were going?. He just shrugged, stood up then shuffled off towards the lounge. I grabbed a few drinks then went into the lounge. Jane was still gyrating away only now she was being encouraged by the three of them. Colin got up and did one of those ridiculous things where he waved his arms around and slithered up and down her body rubbing himself against her. Jane responded then playfully shoved him away. She decided to then stand in front of everyone in turn as she sang along to the music rubbing her legs. Telling me that they wanted to see more of me and less clothes! And, telling me what they’d do with me if they could get their hands on me. Yes, I was shocked, embarrassed, frightened, angry and disturbed but in a rather odd sort of way I way flattered, and maybe aroused. Dan and I had been married for years. He’s the only man that I’d ever known. But, I’ve worked with men who flirted but that was just office flirting. And, there have been men who’ve asked me out. In fact, I once worked.
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